Allow Me To Introduce Myself - I'm Tippi Hedren....

Yes, this actually happened this morning.



Yeah, so I'm taking a shower:

Then I think I hear something, which is odd,
because I'm the only one home:

Ok, whatever.
I get out, wrap a towel around myself and
head to the kitchen for another cup of coffee
when what do I see?

OH MY GOD - there is a freakin' bird in my house!
A BIG BLACK bird.
I wasn't the only one to freak out.
The bird freaked out too.
It flew all over then settled on a shelf.

I started to panic, what the hell was I supposed to do??
And how the hell did it get in here??
I guess it came in the chimney and the chances of getting
it back up there were, well.......zero.
So I did the only thing I could do....
I put a bathrobe over my head and went after it.

Well, he was ready for a fight, so he flew back and forth
across the room, taunting me the whole time:

Finally, I shooed it over to the sliding glass doors.
I opened them and then threw some index cards
at it to get it out. (hey, that's all I had on hand)

He flew out and into a tree where all his friends were
hanging out watching.....then they all laughed at me.

Stupid birds.

Feeling Great!

Ok, Week 1 at the gym - I'm not dead yet.
I've gone 3 times and today was the best.
I didn't kill myself, but I worked hard
and I ENJOYED it.
HELLO??!!!!!
I ENJOYED excercise!
(actually, I enjoyed being by myself and
doing something for ME)

I also got my curls cut this AM.
REALLY cut.
CUT OFF.
I went to a new place that has someone
who knows how to cut curls.
He didn't give me what I wanted, but
I think I like it.
I also got color and that I LOVE.
I may get brave and take a pic.
We'll see.
Maybe I'll draw one.

The Gym

So I joined the gym on Sunday.
I've been thinking about it for quite some time.
A few years ago I had a membership.
I always felt better after I went.
I loved the elliptical.
So, here I am Sunday afternoon:

Since I'm in shape - round is a shape -
I decided to start with the treadmill.
You know, ease into things.

Hey, you know what - this is great!
I'm loving this!
You know what - I can handle the elliptical.
No problem, right?
WRONG:

Oh my God.
It was so hard.
So freakin' hard!
I thought my head was going to explode
right off my body and go shooting across the room.

I made it to 7 minutes then I
went back to the treadmill.
I was all sweaty, my curls were all frizzy,
and I was trying to recover from a near heart attack.

At the 30 minute mark I said, "Ok, that's enough."
I go into the locker room to find THIS in the mirror:

A big frizzy haired tomato!
I looked horrible.
I could NOT walk out of there like that.
They would call an ambulance for sure.
I was so embarrassed.
I put on my sunglasses and scarf and
walked out.


......but you know what......?
I went back again yesterday.
Aren't you proud of me?

I am SO STUPID!

I have to admit something.
I don't like to drive in the snow.
I get all nervous.



Well, the forecast for Saturday - yesterday - was for snow.
Big snow.
Snow and ice.
I had an appointment to get my hair cut and colored on Saturday.
I was worried because:

Yeah, lots of hills.
Hills + snow = Kerry stays home.
So, I called and cancelled my appointment.
I cancelled on Friday.
I thought I was doing a good thing not canceling right before.
Well:


I AM SO STUPID!!!
I could have gone.
Now I have overgrown multi colored hair
and I won't be able to get another appointment for weeks.

First Graders Speak

First of all
THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING ME!
I love you guys!!!!

Ok, I subbed in first grade today.
Here is conversation that took place.

Girl: Miss Walker is engaged!
Boy 1: What's engaged?
Me: It means she's getting married.
Boy 2: My uncle is getting married......for the third time!
Boy 1: Why is he getting married 3 times?
Boy 2: He keeps getting divorced.
Boy 1: My mother divorced my father.
Girl: I know all about divorce. My mother is a social worker.

I love them.

Followers

Look over to the right.
Ok, scroll down a little.
See that area that says
FOLLOWERS?
See that sad little area?
See that sad, lonely little
icon that belongs to my friend
Alison?
Alison is my one and only follower.
THANK YOU ALISON!!!!
Thank you for trying to
not make me look like a loser.

Listen people.......
I NEED FOLLOWERS.

It's easy, just click on
"follow this blog".
That's all.
You don't have to actually follow me anywhere.
You don't have to send me any money, although.....
You don't even have to send me a birthday card.
Just click on the thing and make me feel loved.
I need a little love these days.
(I'm good with the guilt, huh?)

FOLLOW ME!!

Intuition

It started last night.

I felt very uneasy, agitated, but couldn't
figure out why.
I "knew" something was going to happen.

Same thing this morning.

Well, after lunch I got a call from my dad.
My mother was in an ambulance on her way
to the hospital. She'd had a seizure.

Now if you've been reading my blog,
you'll know she's been through a lot
these past couple of months but has
been doing GREAT.

This was like a huge slap in the face -
for all of us.

Between Dylan dislocating his jaw in gym
and mom having a brain tumor, I've discovered
something about myself........

I AM NOT COOL DURING AN EMERGENCY!

I can't dial a phone - and all my numbers are progammed!
I can't talk and I forget to breathe.
And driving................crazy.

I always assumed I'd be a cool customer in an emergency.
I'd keep my cool, assess the situation, and act accordingly.

NOT.

My mother is doing much better.
They think it was an adverse reaction to one of the
hundreds of medications she's taking.
Hopefully they'll let her come home tomorrow.

As for me.....
I feel like I have an elephant sitting on my chest.

The good thing is that I find I have to keep moving.
When I got home, not only did I make dinner for Dylan,
but I made a weeks worth of chicken souvlaki and
did laundry.

I just have to remember to breathe....
and take a Xanax.

First Day Back

Ok, back to school today.
I
Am
Exhausted!
I can't believe how tired I am tonight.
And what did I do today?
I subbed in Kindergarten, but
it was easy, the kids were great.
I need to get back into the swing of things-
and drink more coffee...

Teen Envy

Oh to be a teen again.
Oh to be a teen from a
STINKING RICH FAMILY.
Check out these rooms from
Pottery Barn Teen.





You know what -
forget about being a teen again,
I'd like a room like these NOW.

Stuff I got, Stuff I gave.

Here are a few things I got for Christmas:
Needed this.
The hamster in the old one was on his last legs.

LOVE these!!! I feel like a real chef!

I caved in and asked for this.
I read it in 2 days.


Here are a few things I gave:
Camel hair jacket for Paul.
He looks GREAT in it.

Another gift for Paul, so funny!

For my mother to keep her warm.

5:30am Friday

This is what I woke up to this morning.

Kind of sets you off on the right foot,
don't you think?

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year.
I rang in 2009 with a migraine-woohoo!
I stayed on the couch all day sleeping
and watching Twilight Zone episodes.
I know, I'm a wild woman.

I'm not sad to see 2008 go.
It got a little bumpy there from Sept.
thru Dec. Good riddance!


As for "resolutions".....I'm not ready yet.
How about you?