Bad Mama

Yesterday.
Home from school.
Hurry!!! Baseball!!!
Here, have a PB&J sandwich, energy for practice.
Hurry up, do homework, you have practice.
We have to be there early, we missed the first one because you were sick.
Here are you clothes.
Hurry up, get changed.
Is your homework finished??!!!!
Hurry!!!!
Get in the car!!!!!!
Hurry!!!!!!!
Drive to the field.
First one's there. Good.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Hmmmm...........
Did the coach say this field?
Hmmmm.............
Let's drive to the other field.
Hurry!!! Get in the car!!!!
Now we're late!!!!!
Speed to the other field!!!!
Hurry!!!!
No one there.
Hmmmm...............
Call coach.
No answer.
Drive around.
Hurry!!!!!
Ring, ring....
Coach.
Hi, where are you??? We're ready!!!!! We've been hurrying!!!!!! We're ready!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!???????
Practice was yesterday.
Shit.
MOM!
sorry.

The Curly Girl is back.

Yup, the curls won. I was my old self today.
I walked into school all curly and one of the first kids I saw said:
"Mrs. M! You're back!"
Yes, I think everyone was more comfortable with the curls.
That's who I am, curly, unpredictable, a little crazy, fun.
Curly Girl, that's me.

Had a little burst of mojo around 5pm and managed to crank this out:

I used the always wonderful Worldwin Cardstock
Zsiage paper
Zsiage chipboard letters

Curly? Straight?

Thank you for all the nice comments about my straight hair and ginormous forehead. You are too kind.
So here are some comments about my new hair from the kids at school:
"It's SOOOO much better"
"I don't like you that way"
"Who are you?"
"OH MY GOD"
"You look scary"
Yeah, so the curls will be back tomorrow. I didn't feel like doing my hair today so I made sure I didn't move an inch while I slept, and then I did all these crazy moves in the shower to prevent the hair from getting wet, I'm sure I could teach a yoga class now.

Curly Girl Goes Straight!

Story at 11.
(did you ever see such an enormous forehead?? It's more like an eighthead.)

104.6

No, not a local radio station.
Dylan's temperature yesterday.
Within 20 minutes his temp went from 104 to 104.6, even after Motrin.
Little panicky.
Called best friend Jodi.
Called doctor.
Called Grandma, who is a nurse.
Wet cloth on forehead.
Lots of pacing.
Grandma shows up.
Exhale.
Temp down.
"Mom, can I have some pizza?"
You can have anything you want.

An Open Letter to the "Lady" On-Line Behind Me at the Grocery Store

Dear Lady,
You seemed to be in a hurry.
Perhaps you had to go to the bathroom.
Perhaps you were rushing to visit your poor sick aunt in the hospital and visiting hours end at exactly 1:42pm.
Perhaps you had to bring your cart full of stuff over to the homeless shelter before another person went hungry....
But somehow I doubt any of those were the case.
I think you were just a rude, obnoxious wench who found it necessary to put your hands on my groceries and push them up on the belt so you could make room for 93 boxes of Lean Cuisine.
DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF!
DON'T EVER TOUCH MY STUFF!
You wanna pay for it, then ok, you can touch, but you didn't offer.
Not only did you TOUCH MY STUFF, you put both hands on my three loaves of bread (lovely bakery sourdough, cinnamon raisin swirl and 183 grain something or other).
You SQUASHED my loaves!
Did you catch the look I shot you? No, because your ginormous Yoko sunglasses were blocking your view or maybe you couldn't see over your Meg Ryan lips.
And I love how you found it necessary while furiously loading organic crap on to the belt, to push into my cart, which pushed into me, and demand that the checker check the price of your 323 load bottle of Tide.
WAIT YOUR TURN!!
I bet you're the kind of driver who doesn't believe in alternate feed.
I want you to know that I got immense pleasure out of discovering that I didn't have enough cash in my wallet to pay for my junk food and insecticide covered fruit.
You know I slid the credit card through the reader incorrectly on purpose, all 7 times.
HA!
That'll learn ya'.

Resourceful

My hair dryer broke. Yes, another one
I guess it developed a grudge against me, as it started shooting big ass sparks at my head accompanied by loud popping noises.
It wasn't even a year old.
Yeah, it was a cheepie ConAir $18 job, but all I do is diffuse my curls, 15 minutes - tops - each day.
So I tossed it out and resurrected my last broken blow dryer. See, I keep an old one on hand, unless they have a built-in Uzi like this one.
The old dead one was indeed that....dead.
What's a Curly Girl to do????
She sticks her head in the oven, that's what.
Seriously.
Hey, the curls need heat and no, I didn't stick my head all the way in. I crank it up to 350, crack the door a little bit and dry the girls.
I know.
Dylan saw this and I think he's ready to commit me. Yes, even my 10 year old knows it's wrong. It's just wrong.
So I'm in the market for a new dryer.
Jen, my boss, thinks I should get one of those professional $100 jobbies. I'd be very happy with another $18 flame thrower.
Suggestions?

Lazy

That's a slug.
That was me yesterday.
I really didn't do anything. I did manage to shower, thank God, oh, and I made a wonderful dinner, but between those two things.....not much.
Today is a new day.
I have to CREATE.
I'll be back later to show you what I've done.

Wearing heels.

Once upon a time there was a girl who wore heels every day. The girl not only walked to and from work, but she stood all day wearing those heels. Usually she had to stand on the train too as the land was sorely lacking in chivalrous men. The girl didn't mind - most of the time.
Then one day, the girl met and married her prince who took her away from the big city. They had their own little prince and the girl stayed home to care for the baby prince. She also cooked and cleaned on occasion.
Ten years passed.
The baby prince was no longer a baby, but a very funny, baseball playing violin virtuoso with a social life to rival anyone in the kingdom.
The girl decided to go back to the big city, well, actually, two towns over, and try her hand at work once again.
So after 10 years of flats, the girl dared to don her heels again, and you know what happened........
HER FEET FREAKIN' HURT LIKE A SON OF BITCH!

Terabithia

So I went to college with this guy David Patterson. We were in the drama department together and he lived on the same rowdy floor as my college boyfriend. I always liked David, he's a terrific actor. I remember him telling me that his mother "wrote kids books". He never made a big deal about it, in fact, that was all he ever said about it. David got a job with our school's touring theater company and left school before graduation. I have run into him over the years, in NYC, at plays, parties, he was always writing and always a nice guy.
I just saw him last summer. His two boys go to our camp. We caught up, turns out I knew his sister-in-law growing up. What a small world. He wrote a little movie, etc.
A few weeks ago, I get my alumni newsletter. There's a little blurb that David Patterson wrote the screenplay for

.....based on his mother's book.
What???
Dylan just finished that book. The 5th grade reads it each year.
So I call David and ask him if he'll come talk to Dylan's class. He said he hasn't become a big Hollywood jerk yet and would be happy to. (We also went to school with the guy who developed Smallville and a number of other things - he HAS become a big Hollywood jerk)
Dylan's teacher is so excited, she's over the moon.
We saw the movie last night. I cried.
I can't wait to read this "kids book" his mother wrote.

Girl Scout Cookies

For those of you living under a rock, let me introduce you to the Samoa. It is the best Girl Scout Cookie out there. Ok, I know all you Thin Mint people are up in arms, but relax, ok? The Samoa truly out ranks you.
What I want to know is WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THESE??
They are amazing and as those potato chip people say, you can't eat just one.
And with a cup-a joe?? Heaven.
CURSE YOU COOKIE INVENTOR!!!!!!

Field Trip #2

We took the 4th grade to the art museum again yesterday. Masters of Printmaking was the exhibit.
I saw this (Warhol - Marilyn)

and this (Munch - The Scream, one of my favorites)

and this, which I find to be kind of creepy yet beautiful.(again, Munch - Madonna)

The kids were amazing. They did some incredible sketches and had wonderful ideas to share.
Love kids.
Love my job.

The luckiest mom.

I'm so tired and a bit cranky and trying to get dinner on the table, but I just had to post about Dylan.
He came home from school, started his homework without being asked, now he's practicing his violin. In between, he runs in to say hi and give me a kiss.
He is such a great kid.

The luckiest mom.
That's me.

Scrapbooking and Beyond......

I love

I submitted some stuff on Thursday and heard from them on Friday.
Love that!
They want two pages.
Excellent.
My first page with them was in the above issue.
Love 'em.

Smarter than a 5th Grader?

So Dylan and I watched this show last night. First question; "How many "e"s in "Pledge of Allegiance" (you know I just used spell check, right?)
Well, there was no doubt in my mind when I said, "5". No doubt.
Dylan said 4.
Dylan was right.
Dylan is 10.
I am 40.
Smarter than a 5th grader?
Apparently not.