The Walk-In Medical Place

I have another sinus infection. I try to avoid
antibiotics when possible, but this little doozy
just wouldn't go away. So of course I admit defeat
on a Saturday. Now, doctor's hours on a Saturday
is rare, but hours on a Holiday weekend??
Forget it. I'm sure my doc was already on the
back 9 by 9 but I needed help so I brought
myself and my box of tissues to the
"Walk-In Open To One And All But Possessing
Only 3 Parking Spots Medical Place."
I know it has a much more official name but I was so
exhausted from the walk from the "closest" parking
spot I could find - down the road - to the
office that I didn't notice. I guess that's why they
call it the Walk-In Medical Place.
Anyway, while waiting to be called, I got to know
the girl sitting across from me.
No, we didn't actually speak, but I learned all about
her medical problem from her cell phone call
to someone who must be deaf or have the TV turned up real high.
I learned that her cut got infected and was oozing
so she needed to get stitched up and get a tetanus shot
and that she hoped she wouldn't get a scar and that
yeah, yeah, she'd call the deaf TV watcher back.
At that point I was called in to an office.
Just as the nurse closes my door we hear....
BAM!
My nurse opens the door and there is my new friend
lying on the floor, out cold, and her chin is bleeding.
Apparently as she passed out and fell, she hit her chin
on the glass table requiring more stitches, and no
doubt, another cell phone call.
So in the end I got my prescription and started
to leave, but I wanted to stop and say goodbye to
my new friend, but she was in her room crying,
REALLY LOUD, so I decided I'd leave her alone.
It was all very exciting.
I think I'll go back this Saturday just for kicks and
see what's up.
I hope I get a parking spot.

Water, water eveywhere!

Our water supply is safe once again.
I was able to run the dishwasher and do a load
of laundry - thank God! I was not about to pour
107 bottles of Poland Spring into the washing machine.
Dylan was so funny, he said he felt like he was on
Survivor, rationing his water.
The kid had 3 Poland Spring sports bottles
next to his bed, WITH HIS NAME ON THEM...
just in case things got really bad.
I'm going to take your suggestions and bake
something for my wonderful neighbor, the one who
brought me the case of water. What a great guy.

Memorial Day weekend.
I need a 3 day-er.
We don't have anything planned.
I'm sure Paul and Dylan will golf.
We'll grill, take it easy and
drink lots of water, because we can.
I have a lot of scrapping to do.
I have assignments due for CHA and I have
some fun new products from WORLDWIN
to play with!
Can't wait!

Good Neighbor, Bad Neighborhood.

So last night, I'm coloring my hair (yes I color my own hair)
and the phone rings.
I ask Dylan to answer it because as I said, I was coloring
my hair and couldn't put my ear to the phone
unless of course we wanted a Warm Reddish Brown phone.
So he answers it, says "She's right here." and
hands me the phone.
Blink.
Blink.
Whatever.
Holding the phone away from my Warm Reddish Brown
ear I say...."Yeah?"
It's Doug down the street.
"Kerry, did you hear about the water."
"Wha?"
"The water is contaminated."
"WHA?" - no seriously, I couldn't hear him.
"Don't use the water, it's contaminated."
WTF?
He continues: "Don't you watch the news?"
"No."
"Well, they're giving out water at the fire station until 9pm."
Now, remember, Warm Reddish Brown....AND it's 8:45.
There is no way I'd make it out of the house for water.
"Well, thanks Doug, but I'm coloring my hair, won't be able to get
out, but thanks again for letting me know that we can die if we drink the water."
Of course the only thing I'm worried about is my morning coffee.
I have about 10 mini bottles of water. How many cups can
I get out of that....x=13 x the sum of y + caffiene.........
Now, our town has an Emergency something or other branch.
Hello??
Could you let us know that our water has poop in it??
An automated phone message?
A flier in our mailboxes?
Heck, even a truck with a bullhorn.
So, as my grey is becoming a thing of the past, Dylan is
trying to convince me that the pasta I made for dinner
is slowly killing him.
Then there is a knock at the door.
Doug.
Doug bearing a case of water.
The guy went into town and got us a case of water!
I yelled my thanks to him from my dining room where I was
hiding, with my Warm Reddish Brown goop and the ripped,
stained 12 year old shirt I wear when coloring my hair.
Seriously, if the guy saw me, he'd take the water back.
Now THAT is a great neighbor.
I have to get him something as a thank you.
I'll think about it as I sit here drinking my coffee.
Great neighbor.

I need more time

I don't have enough time to do the things I need or want to do.
I've decided that 2 more hours a day, say, between
5pm and 7pm would be wonderful.
Ok, so that would bring us to a 26 hour day.
When I figure the new "Kerry Day" into our
current 365 day calendar,
I see that we must get rid of 30 days.
One month.
I would vote for August because it's so hot, but my birthday is
in August and I don't want to miss out on any gifts.
So how about July?
July is hot. Too hot.
Yeah, yeah, Independence Day. Couldn't we celebrate it in April?
All we have in April is Easter and sometimes that's in March!
Independence Day could be a rotating holiday,
depending on Easter.
I am aware that my decision will not bode well with the school
set - vacation and all, but hey, I NEED MORE TIME!
Other possibilities:
January is no good. It's the first month and that's that.
February.....Valentine's Day, President's Day, snow. A possibility.
March - St. Pats Day. Rain. (Easter) Hmmm.
April - April Fools Day. Dylan's birthday. (Easter)
May - no, too pretty.
June - no, can be a good month.
July and August - see above.
September - no because I actually like the smell of new crayons.
October - NO. GREAT HAIR WEATHER
November - Thanksgiving, no way.
December - Christmas - Hello??!!! Nope.
Ok, so what do we do?

Survivor - Long Island

Well, we made it.
Mom is back in LA
and I'm, well, I'm still here.
She made me nuts but I'm sure I got on her nerves too.
Thanks for all your comments and emails.
I REALLY appreciated them.
Now - back to business!

Take Your Mother To Work Day

Did you know that May 18th is
TAKE YOUR MOTHER TO WORK DAY?
Well, it is.
I started it.
This is the first
TAKE YOUR MOTHER TO WORK DAY ever.
I highly recommend that you participate.
Your mother would love to know what you
do all day so she can tell you
how you could do it better.
My mother flew in from CA last night and will
be COMING TO WORK WITH ME today.
This morning:
we will attempt to get ready at the same time
we will sit in traffic together.
we will take Xanax together.
I will take her on a tour of the school
hiding her from the Headmaster.
"Mom, take a look in this supply closet......"
She will sit in on Dylan's English class.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
She will attend one of my art classes
and I will have to explain to all the 6th graders
why my mommy is there.
"Because it's TAKE YOUR MOTHER TO WORK DAY"
..and they will all give me strange looks and decide
right then and there that they will drop out of school,
mooch off of friends and relatives for the rest of their
lives and never get jobs so they won't have to
TAKE THEIR MOTHERS TO WORK with them, EVER.

Count Down

My mother is coming for a visit tonight.
She'll be here until Sunday.
'Nuff said.

Sick and Tired

I have a cold.
And it was 87 degrees here yesterday so it's like a summer cold, and they SUCK.
I have a sore throat.
I'm trying not to swallow but I almost drowned yesterday so I
have to figure out some other way to avoid the pain.
I'm tired.
So I guess I'm sick and tired.
Now stick your tongue out between your lips and blow.
That's how I feel.

but.....Memory Makers picked up one of my layouts for
their Oct. issue. That makes me feel a little bit better.

Not a joke.

So a woman (me) walks into a bakery and says,
Me: "I'd like a dozen rolls please?"
Clerk: "Sure, how many?"
Me: " Um, a dozen."
- now come on. You work in a bakery. That can't be the first time you were asked for a dozen anything.
Me: "I'd also like 3 black and white cookies please."
Clerk: rings up my items but doesn't total yet, before getting them.
-she gets the rolls
- she approaches the cookies and says,
Clerk: "You wanted 5 cookies, right?"
Me: "No, I wanted 3. Did you charge me for 5?"
Clerk: "No."
Clerk: putting bags on counter, "Ok, that's $16.24."
Me: "Really? How much are those cookies?"
Clerk:" 2.50"
Me: Are you sure you only charged me for 3?"
Clerk: LOOKS AT TAPE IN REGISTER, "Yes, only 3."
Me: I pay her, thinking I'm never coming here again.
-I get to the car, I do the math, she overcharged me by $5.
- I go back in.
Me: "You did charge me for 5 cookies."
Clerk: "Did I? Sorry."
HELLO, YOU CHECKED THE REGISTER TAPE!
I should have known when when when the whole dozen thing took place.
And whatever happened to a baker's dozen?
I should have gotten 13 rolls, right?
No, that's asking too much of her. Way too much.

Mutha's Day

Happy Mother's Day to one and all.
It's not even 9am and I've had the best day!
Paul and Dylan gave me a bottle of my favorite perfume, Calyx.
The BIG bottle!
and
A tube of Caylx body lotion!
and
Dylan made me a present in English class.
It's a binder with all his writings from the year.
The cover has pictures of penguins which I love.
Then Paul brought me some coffee in my favorite mug

Yesterday, I picked up a present for my step-mother, a necklace and earrings by Sigrid Olsen.
Guess what...I got myself the same thing.
Happy Mutha's Day to me!!
Enjoy your day!

Nip, Tuck, Chop

I'm thinking of having my ankles removed.
It shouldn't be a difficult operation, a little
fusing and I'd be good to go.
Why you ask?
Well, I worked harder this week than I have all year.
Our big art show was Thursday and it took us 4 days
to set it up. I must have walked a marathon around
the school. I'm a flat foot and my ankles were killing me,
so I figure, in order to avoid the same problem next year,
I'll just have them removed.
You know, I think I'll have my eyes done at the same time.
How do you feel about plasitc surgery?

Sneeky Crafting

Shhhhhh........
I've been working with some new, secret stuff
from WorldWin Papers. It is SO COOL!
It's going to be a BIT HIT!!!!!!!
I had to use it to create 4 projects for CHA, hopefully one will
be chosen for the show.
Love the stuff!!!

Also, some tooting news....
Paper Creations has asked for two of the cards I sent
them AND asked if I could create two more to go with
them! This is my first time being pubbed with them.
Very excited.

Klassy, with a K

You receive a birthday invitation in the mail.
You:
A) RSVP within a few days
B) RSVP late but RSVP nonetheless
C) don't RSVP, how the hell could you know what you're doing that day
D) don't RSVP, you're too important for such things

You run into the mother of the birthday boy at school.
You:
A) say hello and that Johnny is excited for the party
B) say hello and apologize for not RSVPing but Johnny will be there
C) say hello and pretend to know what the mom is talking about when she mentions the party
D) ignore the birthday kid's mom

You RSVP'd that your child will be attending the party.
On the day of the party you:
A) drop Johnny off but stay for a bit to chat.
B) drop Johnny off, go shopping, return at end of party.
C) decide that the party is no big deal, you don't attend and don't call
D) you drive your child to the party and as you drive up, the birthday mom sees you and waves. Your child sees that her best friend isn't there (she RSVP'd but was a no-show), so without even stopping, you just drive off with your child.

Your RSVP'd that your child would attend the party, but for some reason didn't.
You:
A) don't call
B) don't apologize
C) pretend it didn't matter that you blew off the party
D) all of the above.

The answers to all the questions seem to be C and D.
Dylan's party was yesterday.
All of those things happened to us.
I'm glad Dylan had a great time
but here is what I have learned:
Money can buy you a lot of things, but it can't buy you class.

Serendipity is Serendipitous!

Ok, here is my all time favorite site:
Serendipity Scrapbook Designs
She sells monthly scrapbook kits (check out links on the side)
and picks the best stuff for them.
I've been published thirteen times using her kits.
THIRTEEN TIMES!
BIG NEWS; she's asked me to write a column for her newsletter!
It's going to be a "day in the life" kind of column.
Just like my blog.
In fact the first column was from this blog, lol.
So please check out the site.
Show her some love!!!!
Thanks Bloggies!

Chinese Food Backlash

If you read my previous post, you'll know that I don't care for Chinese food.
I'm being kind.....I hate it.
I know, the gall!
How is that possible??
Here is a little background for ya'.
My father is not an adventurous eater.
He's affectionately known as "Meat and Potatoes Bob"
The closest we ever came to eating Chinese food
while growing up was the occasional stir fry.
One summer a friend from camp invited me
out to dinner with her family for some" Jewish soul food".
I'm thinking matzoh, but we ended up at China Palace
ordering a Pu Pu Platter.
A Poo Poo Platter??
Poo Poo....on a platter??!!!
Oh. My. God.
These people tricked me!
They're going to force me to eat Poop!
ON A PLATTER!!!
How do I get out of here.
I'm trapped.
(yes folks, these were the thoughts going through my head)
Well, the when the poop arrived, I was fascinated and yes,
I ate the poop.
Not only did I eat the poop...I liked the poop.
On the platter.
I returned home that evening and tried to explain
the whole Poop on a Platter experience, knowing full well
that Meat and Potatoes Bob would have none of it.
No poop for Bob. Unless of course you're not feeling well, then it's ALL about poop for Bob.
Read this and you'll understand.
Anyway, yeah, no Chinese food in our house.
Fast forward to college.
Pizza, beer and chinese food, right?
I was introduced to fried rice, egg rolls, chop suey,
moo shoo this and that, chop sticks, fortune cookies!
I tried to explain the benefits of clumpy rice
to my family over Christmas vacation.
They would have none of it.
However, when I came down with the chicken pox that summer,
and was the sickest sad-sack you'd ever seen, Meat and Potatoes Bob actually walked into a Chinese take-out place
and brought me the one thing I said I would eat....
Won Ton soup and an egg roll.
This man really loved me.
Back to college... one morning after a particularly
rough night of college stuff (drinking), I was in the bathroom
praying to the porcelain God when my "thoughtful" roommate
decided to REHEAT SOME SUEY SOMETHING OR OTHER IN OUR MICROWAVE!
What was she thinking??!!!!
That was it.
I was DONE.
No more Chinese food for me.
NOW do you understand???!!!!
The end!

Life in Oz

Oh how I love our new school!!!
Yesterday was Teacher Appreciation Day.
Usually all the teachers eat lunch with the kids in the dining hall,
one teacher to a table, ensuring proper etiquitte
and low spit ball volume.
But yesterday we were treated to a Lunch Party!
Parents, God bless them, subbed for us at lunch, and we
were treated to a Chinese food feast.
I hate Chinese food.
Anyway, we had "wonderful" food, entertainment and gifts!
All this to show how much we're appreciated.
I thought, "Wow, it can't get any better than this."
I was wrong.
Later on, I was going through some art work and came upon a
first grade masterpiece without a name on it.
I walked across the hall to their classroom,
they were having some free time,
so Miss Barry invited me in to ask who the secret artist was.
It only took seconds for them to descend upon me;
Olivia collapsed to the ground and wrapped
her arms around my legs
hugging me like a cherished teddy bear.
Altan ran over and gave me a huge hug.
The rest of the munchkins surrounded me like Dorothy about to start off on her trek;
"Mrs. McKibbins, look at my loose tooth!"
"Mrs. M, what are we doing for art next week?!"
"Hi!!"
"Mrs. M., watch this!"
"giggle"
-hug, hug, hug.
Now THAT my friends, is TEACHER APPRECIATION!