NEW CAR NEW CAR NEW CAR NEW CAR

I would post some pics but I'm
too busy driving around in my

NEW CAR!!!!!!!

Curse You Rachel Ray!

So, tonight I made this dish that my mother recommended.

Right there.

THAT should have been the first clue.
My mother recommended a recipe??
Not only does my mother not cook,
my mother doesn't eat.
The woman exists on apples and water.
(by the way, I'm talking about my "real" mother,
not my step-mother who raised me and I love
to pieces.I'm talking about my crazy-ass mother
who left when I was 10 - but I digress.)

So MY MOTHER tells me she's started cooking and made this
great dish.
-again, I'm stuck on that sentence.

Anyway.
It's called Venetian Shrimp and Scallops from Rachel Ray,
who annoys the shit out of me.
THAT should have been my SECOND clue.

So I go to the store.
I buy 1 pound of sea scallops - expensive.
I buy 1 pound of large shrimp, which is not only a little pricey
but I have to clean the suckers. Totally gross.
I buy ONE HALF A TEASPOON OF SAFFRON, which costs $7.
$7 for 5 threads of....well, thread.
There were other ingredients:
shallots, garlic, wine, tomatoes, basil.
Oh, and did I mention the recipe calls for "good, crusty bread
for sopping up the juices"?

Sounds like it should be delicious, right?
Wrong.

I followed the directions.
I simmered, I reduced, I seared, I blended.
I ate and I was disappointed.

This dish had NO TASTE!
I went back and checked the ingredients.
I hadn't missed a thing.
Blech.

Paul has two categories for my cooking:
1) Delicious!
2) I love you but you don't ever have to make this again.
Thankfully, the second category only has 2 entries, well, now it has 3.

Go ahead, look up the recipe and try it.
Let me know how it turns out.

It's Over

Camp is over.

WOOHOO!!!!

Yes, I happy.
I had enough.

We ended on a high note though.

The little guy who gave me so
much trouble all summer
and drove me up the wall,
whose parents I had to call because
he wouldn't listen at all, who
marched to his own drummer, who
would walk away from me when I tried
to reason with him.....
asked if he could
come live with me.

I call that a success.

44!

Today I am 44.
Woo Hoo!!!

Wanna see what my husband got me for my birthday??



Yup.
A NEW CAR!!!!

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!

Super Geek

This is Dylan.

Dylan loves anything having to do with Apple.
Dylan has an iPod.
Dylan has an iPhone.
Dylan has a MacBook.
Dylan talks about Apple
ALL
DAY
LONG.
HIs father and I used to listen but we have
reached our limits.
I took it upon myself to write a letter to him:

That's Steve Jobs, co-founder, CEO of Apple.


Hi Steve,
My 14 year old son will not stop talking about Apple.
He reads anything he can find about you guys in the news, on websites, magazines, then proceeds to tell us everything he's read, over and over and over again.
Hey, we love Apple, but we're at the point where we've sort of tuned him out.
Are you interested in an apprentice?
We will happily ship him out to you - the sooner the better.
Let us know.
Thanks,
Kerry McKibbins - Dylan's mom.
Apple user since '87. (Dylan since '96)

Here's what I received:

Tell him to look us up when he is 18. But of course then he will be thinking more about college and girls... :-)

Steve

I already have him packed up.
I hope we make it that long.
Dylan is not amused.

Love Camp.

This conversation took place yesterday between a
counselor - Brian, and a camper we will call "C".
"C" is a cute little guy, about 8 years old.

When you read the following, make sure you use a
very high voice and that your voice goes waaaay up with
each question. Trust me, you will enjoy this more if you do.

C: "Bwyon?" (Brian)
Brian: "Hey, C, what's up?"
C: "Bwyon? I'm going to go sit with my giwlfriend." (girlfriend)
Brian: "C, you have a girlfriend? Excellent man, give me 5!"
C: "Ummmmmmm, I bettew (better) not. I was just touching my penis."
Brian: "Ok then."

Love camp.

Ketchup and Rubberbuns

T. and I had this conversation today:

T: Kerry, no matter what I say, you answer
Ketchup and Rubberbuns.

Me: Ketchup and Rubberbands?

T: No! Rubberbuns.

Me: Um, ok.

T: What do you put on a hot dog?

Me: Ketchup and Rubberbuns.

T: What do you put on a hamburger?

Me: Ketchup and Rubberbuns.

T: What do you do when you see a hot girl on the street?

Me: Ketchup and Rubberbuns.

T: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: Ha, ha. Yeah, I get it.

T: Ok, ok, now no matter what I say, say this.
Ketchup and Liquor.

Me: No, I will not say that.

T: Come on!!

Me: NO!

(love him!)

He Makes Me Crazy But I Love Him

Why is it that the kid who, during the first few
weeks of camp makes me decide that universal
sterilization is a wonderful idea, becomes my
absolute favorite kid by week 5??

This happens every year.

T has won my heart.
He's so bad, but I love him.

Thursday he was banned from this

He wouldn't come down, wanted to stay up there all day.
Claims he was "stuck".
When he finally did come down, he informed me
that both of his parents are lawyers and he is going to sue me.


On Friday we had this conversation:
T: "Kerry, I have a date with a hot babe tonight."

(he is 8 years old.)

Me: "Really?"

T: "Yeah, my brother is away, my sister is staying at a friend's house
and my parents are going to a party. It's just me and this hot babe."

Me: "Is this your babysitter?"

T: " Yeah."

We talked about his hot date all day. He had devised a plan.

He asked: "Kerry, are fireplaces romantic?"
Me: "Yes."

T: "Kerry, are disco balls romantic?"
Me: "No."

He came up with this:

T: "Good evening Nicole, you look lovely tonight, would you like to come in?"
"May I offer you a beverage?"
" Would you care to watch a movie with me."
He told me that 15 minutes into the movie, he will pull the "yawn" move and
put his arm around her.

Again, this kid is 8 years old and has been banned
from Spider Mountain and is threatening to sue me.

Watch out Nicole.

I love him!