They Grow Up So Fast

So, Dylan needed a physical for school.
He's 16.
We still take him to the pediatrician.

So, we're sitting in the exam room and the nurse says:
"Can you make pee pee in a cup for me? The cups are next to the potty"

Dylan's response:
"We're done here."

DID IT!!!!

LOST 46 POUNDS
BY MY 46TH BIRTHDAY!!!

Mini Goal

I set a mini weight loss goal for myself:
to loose 46 pounds by the time I'm 46.
Well, my birthday is Monday.
I've lost 44 pounds.
Will I make it?
Maybe, maybe not.
That's ok.
It's still 44 freakin' pounds!

Cranky Day

Knee pain - no gym.
Cloudy day - no tanning.

I'm cranky.
I'm going to stay home and
watch the Godfather marathon
and eat.

Cranky.

Latest Workout Playlist

I've been doing HIIT workouts on the elliptical.
HIIT stands for
High
Intensity
Interval
Training
....meaning you kill yourself for 4 minutes, then go easy for 4
then back to killing yourself and then easy, and so on.
Here is my latest playlist to help me out:

Payphone - Maroon 5
Raise Your Glass - Pink
Somebody That I Used To Know - Goyte
Drive  By- Train
Who Knew - Pink
Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
Firework - Katy Perry
Brokenhearted - Karmin
My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen
Give Me All Your Luvin' - Madonna
Glad You Came - The Wanted
Everybody Talks -  Neon Trees
Part Of Me - Katy Perry
Tongue Tied - Grouplove
Starships - Nicki Minaj
What Makes You Beautiful - One Direction
Give Your Heart A Break - Demi Lovato
If We Ever Meet Again - Timbaland, Katy Perry

Dylan will NOT let me play this in the car.
He is so embarrassed.

Look, at least I don't have any Justin Bieber on there!

Wow.

So today at the gym
a woman I've never spoken to before came up to me and asked...
"How much weight have you lost??"

42 pounds.

She said how terrific that was and that
I looked great.

I asked, "You really notice?"

She said,  "Of course, your face, neck, you look great!"

I thanked her and told her she really made my day.

And she did.

Keratin!

I have totally ignored my blog for waaaay too long.

Let's see, what's new....

I
HAVE
STRAIGHT
HAIR!

Yup, I had a Keratin treatment and
I LOVE IT!!!!

Here I am right after the treatment:

I couldn't believe how straight and thin my hair looked.
I confess, I was worried.
I had that drowned rat look which is exactly what I didn't want.
Since I had to wait 3 days to wash it, it looked
worse
and
worse.
But.....
day 3:

AWESOMENESS!!
and
this was AFTER the gym.
My hair even looks like that when I wake up!!
I love this.
I will always have this!!!
Lovin' the straight hair!!

Yum!!!

So, all that trolling on Pintrest worked out.
I found this TERRIFIC recipe and tried it tonight!
SPINACH BURGERS

Recipe:

1 bag of frozen spinach, thawed, squeeze out excess moisture

2 egg whites

1 whole egg

1/4 c diced onion

1/2 c shredded cheese

1/2 c bread crumbs

1 tsp red pepper flakes

1 tsp salt (next time I'll leave out the salt, too salty for us)

1/2 tsp garlic powder

Mix well, use your hands!!

Form into burgers.

Spray non-stick pan with cooking spray.

Cook on medium high heat until they brown a bit.

Before you flip, spray the top with cooking spray.

So good!!!

As I said, I found this recipe on Pintrest by way of
The Domestic Mama and Village Cook
These are her pics but my spinach burgers
looked just like hers!!

That's Me!

Excellent Day at L&T!

Well, it's that time again.....

FRIENDS AND FAMILY at 

Lord and Taylor

and I totally scored!!!

First, I needed a pair of white Jack Rogers.
I am hooked on these shoes.

 Then I needed a pair of navy espadrilles. I've been looking  at
a different shoe, but decided to try these on.
LOVE THEM.

Ok, so with Friends and Family, I received %25 off both pairs.

I had 3 gift cards.

I ended up paying $11.54.

Now THAT is a good day!

Popeye

Yes, that's me at Field Day.
Ignore everything else but my BICEP!!!
So cool!!!!
Love the gym!

Too Big

Ok, so I've lost some weight.
Very happy about that.
However.....
all my summer dresses are
TOO BIG!

Oh well, I'll just have to deal with it.
:-)

The Best.

So, yesterday we attended Dylan's Spring Concert.
It was lovely.
Yeah, yeah....

Anyway.....
We're home and Dylan is still walking
around in his black suit and bow tie - yes, he looked great.

So Paul tells him to go change
and Dylan says.....

"It's after six. What are we, farmers?"

The.
Best.





(10 points if you can tell me what show that's from.)
And the answer is..... 30 Rock!

Ball of Lead

Ugh.
Ok, so sometimes I have food days.
I eat more than I usually do.
Thank goodness they don't happen too often.
Well, last night was a food evening.
I ate.
I ate chicken parm which is ok, but I also ate
A HUGE SERVING OF PASTA.
And now there is a
HUGE BALL OF LEAD IN MY STOMACH.
UGH.
I'm glad I don't eat like this anymore, but man oh man
am I paying for it right now.
I went to the gym this morning thinking
that would get things moving.
Nope.
Blech.

Pioneer Day

Each year the fourth graders at my school learn about the Oregon Trail.
Once the unit is finished, they actually TRAVEL the trail.
Seriously, it is one of the coolest things our school does.
Teachers volunteer to be guides and to man stations.
8th graders volunteer to play Native Americans, wild animals and such.
We have a 25 acre campus on which the trip takes place, including
a pond which the kids have to cross - with guides of course.
There are numerous stations to visit such as:
-the Native Americans who don't speak English, and they have to learn how to communicate
-Digging for gold
-Trapping wild animals
-Collecting cow pies
-A saloon, where they take a root beer break.
Sometimes they may loose their water (tricky 8th grader dumps it)
or someone gets cholera and the group must decide how to proceed.
Well, my son didn't come to school until 5th grade
so he never got to do the Oregon Trail.....until now.
He's 16 and volunteered to be a guide.
He had a great time!

Here he is in his Oregon Trail/Abercrombie shirt and porn star sunglasses.

I think this is very cool.

Love This

Bicycle Shopping

Yeah, so yesterday I posted that I want this for Mother's day.

Well, I took myself to a bike store to try it out.

May I offer a bit of advice when bicycle shopping:
When the most gorgeous guy in a 10 mile radius
asks you if you need help, say NO. Just swat him away.
Wait for the geek behind the counter to finish his
Mountain Dew and ask him for help.

Yeah, well, I went with the gorgeous guy.
Dumb move.
So, I'm telling him what I'm looking for
and he pulls a bike down.
It's perfect, just what I want.
I ask if I can sit on it.
He says....
"WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT FOR A SPIN OUTSIDE."
Wait, what?
I haven't ridden a bike in, oh, let's say, 33 years,
but I want one.
I want this one, but I have to try it first?
I have to try it in front of the most gorgeous
guy in a 10 mile radius. (Paul was 11 miles away)
Um.....sure?
"Do you want a helmet?"
"No, I'm fine." translates to: I am not going to put
a stupid helmet on in front of Gorgeous Guy.
So, we go outside.
I get on the bike.
I push off.
You know how they say, it's like riding a bike, you never forget.
Yeah, well, you forget.
I was wobbling from side to side like an ass.
Couldn't get my feet on the pedals for what
seemed like miles.
Finally I managed to get going, but then
found out I WAS AFRAID TO TURN!
I wobbled back thinking....
I want a bike????
Gorgeous Guy said, "Let me raise the seat a bit."
Oh, ok, cause that will make all the difference in the world.
I tried it again and I did much better.
I even managed to turn without losing all feeling
in my hands as I gripped the handlebars.
Ok, I still want a bike.
I want to look like this:

I am sure I looked like this:

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is coming.

I've been contemplating getting a bike for sometime now.

I think I'm ready.

I want:

And I need to find a way to hook this bike to the back of my Beetle so I can drive to parks with lots of flat bike trails.

Mad Men

I have a sick stomach, day 3.

I've been lying around watching Mad Men.

Going on line buying shift dresses.

Contemplating having affairs, no, no, just kidding.

But I have been buying 60's style dresses.

Anyway, Dylan is actually the one who got me

started on the Mad Men kick.

He thinks he is Don Draper.

In fact, here he is

drinking (iced tea)

and smoking (a paper cigarette)

He's been calling me Peggy for a couple of weeks now.

Should I be concerned?

New. Favorite. Store.

C. Wonder is my new favorite store!

I mean, come on, look at it!!

It's gorgeous!

It's the dream child of

Christopher Burch, ex husband of Tory.

Great clothes, accessories, shoes, jewelry

at reasonable prices.

I picked up these earrings

And this necklace

And I want that orange bicycle.

And an orange bike helmet.

Seriously, I do.

Love this store!

I HATE THIS!

This is the worst toothpaste.

Sure, it gives you super fresh breath

but it feels like you're walking around

with a mouth full of Scope.

YOU try keeping Scope in your

mouth for longer than 30 seconds.

Blech!

Hipster

This is what my soon to be 16 year old put on his latest Earth Science test:

I'm so proud.

Post-Apocalyptic Fiction

Ok, so I've been sort of MIA lately.

Haven't even turned my computer on.

Sometimes that's a good thing.

I've been writing a lot of thank you notes

and reading a lot.

I'm into post-apocolyptic YA fiction.

Cheery, right?

I'm on the last book of The Last Survivors trilogy.

Brief synopsis:

Asteroid hits the moon and knocks it a little closer to earth.

This causes a series of catastrophic weather events to happen.

Good stuff.

I also read the second book in the Giver trilogy:

I had heard that this book was the "worst" out of the three.

I really liked it and I'm looking forward to the last one.

Yeah, so that's what I've been up to.

How about you?

Funk Be Gone!

So, yesterday I was in a funk.

I think the events of the past couple

of weeks have finally caught up with me

AND

I got on the scale.

I wasn't going to, but I did.

It said I gained 2 pounds.

It put me in a very bad mood.

I work REALLY HARD at the gym.

I watch what I eat.

Yes, these last two weeks have been different.

Lots of "fruit" baskets, cakes, cookie trays, dinners.

-and I am grateful.

-and yes, I have been partaking,

but nothing like I used to.

I've changed my lifestyle

However.....

all of my clothes are loose

I feel great

I have a ton of energy

-all good things.

So, I have decided that maybe

I will get on the scale once a month.

That's it.

A 2 pound difference shouldn't put me in a funk!

I found this list on the web.

Love it.

My Check list to pay attention to rather than obsessing to what a number on the scale says.

CHECK LIST:

• Do I like the changes I see in the mirror?

• Do I like how my clothes are fitting? Are my rings looser?

• Am I hydrated?

• Am I paying attention to my nutrition: calories, carb/protein/fat intake?

• Do I feel stronger? Have I increased the amount of weight I can lift or the number or reps I can do?

• Can I exercise for longer periods of time?

• Am I losing inches?

• Can I see more muscle definition?

If you can answer YES to any or all of these questions, you’re on the right path!

Eat Right, Train Hard!!!

Crazy Tired

I am so so SO tired today.

I've done nothing.

I took a shower, then took a nap!

No gym today.

So tired.

Maybe the events of the last couple

of weeks are catching up with me.

That's ok - bound to happen.

Endorphins

Had an AWESOME work out today.

Did some Bosu jumps:

I am hoping to graduate to box jumps at some point:

Did some dead lifts. Started with the bar only (45 lbs) to get the movement down.

Eh.

Tried the dead lift machine, with weights. Better.

Moved on to the leg press. GREAT!

Finished with 30 minutes on the elliptical, heart rate up around 160.

Sweat was dripping off of me.

I smelled so bad!

IT

WAS

GREAT!

Thank You

My mother's funeral was yesterday.

The weather was perfect, not a cloud in the sky.

She would have been happy, I'm sure she was.

My brothers and I got through the

Eulogy just fine, even had a few chuckles.

My mother's brother, Fr. John, said the mass.

What a tough thing for him to do, but he did

a beautiful job.

Our Hospice nurse was there - Kathleen, what

a special lady.

Miriam, our first in home caregiver, who has

been in the hospital with heart problems was there!

Some wonderful friends from school were there.

My son, Dylan, played the violin during the

meditation after communion.

He played Toura Loura Loura, an Irish lullaby.

It was very difficult for him to do.

He played it through tears.

I couldn't be more proud of him.

Thank you to everyone for all the kind

words, and touching emails.

Thank you.

The Wake

I am overwhelmed by the outpouring

of love shown yesterday by

my parents' friends

my parents' co-workers

my friends

my co-workers

my Buckley family

people we haven't seen since we were young

Lines out the door.

Just overwhelmed.

Sheila

My mom passed this morning.

Dad and I were with her, holding her hands.

I'm so glad we were there.

I miss her.......

Hmmmm.

It looks like I should be a lot taller than I am,

but I'm working on it.

Down 32.

Update on Mom

My mother's health had been pretty

much the same for the past couple of weeks.

However, today, she had 2 seizures and she's

not taking in any food or water.

I'm so sad.

Food Day

Today was a food day.

I ate

and

ate

and

ate

and

ate

and

ate.

They I had dinner and after dinner

I ate some more.

Ok, whatever.

Back on track tomorrow.

My Policeman

So, for Valentine's Day, I gave Dylan a box of candy.

10 days later, it's still half full.

Don't understand it, but whatever.

So, I'm having a sugar craving which I would normally

cure with an orange, but

COME ON

THERE IS CHOCOLATE IN THE HOUSE!

So, I go into his room.

He's on the computer (really? what a surprise!)

I see the box of 1/2 eaten chocolates and pick it up.

He GRABS it from me!

"What are you doing?"

"I just want one. I can have one."

"No, you can't. You'll thank me later."

then he

WINKED AT ME!

Little shit.

Today's Favorites

Great show about Portland Oregon - where 30 year olds go to retire.

I've been on a Greek salad kick. I should have been Greek.

Orange Vitamin Water. It reminds me of Tang...and I liked Tang. Weird.

I have one in every pocket of every coat I own.

Herbs de Provence - I added them to the soup I'm making right now, White Bean Provencal. The house smells so good!

Sick of Being Sick

Ok, I've been sick since Wednesday night

and I am so tired of it.

I have a sinus infection and

THE WORST SORE THROAT

ANYONE HAS EVER HAD

IN THE HISTORY OF HISTORY.

(look, I studied Drama in college,

as you can tell, I did very well)

I didn't want to drink anything because

I would have to swallow it and I'm pretty

sure the earth shook each time I swallowed

although I'm not positive because the pain

was so great I think I blacked out a little bit each time.

(again, drama class)

The only thing that

seemed to help was....ice cream.

Yeah, I just lost 30 pounds and suddenly

I'm on a diet of ice cream.

Great.

I incorporated some ice pops too.

Eventually with the help of antibiotics,

I added vitamin water -the orange one.

Oh, and white bread to take with the

giant pill the Dr. prescribed.

So, here is my diet:

Breyers vanilla ice cream

Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Frozen Yogurt

Edy's Pineapple fruit bars

Vitamin water - orange

White bread with no nutritional value whatsoever.

-and no, no trips to the gym.

And because of this illness, I haven't

been able to visit my parents.

But I call a couple of times each day.

Sick

I'm sick.

Sore throat.

Cold.

Fever.

Chills.

Aches.

I guess Dylan felt bad for me because he came home sick at 9:30 am.

Here he is:

Sick.

Eli Manning on the Brain

So last night I had this dream...

I was walking through the mall.

I saw Eli Manning.

He was working at a kiosk selling stuffed animals.

I asked him what he was doing there.

He said he needed to make some extra

money so he could go home to visit his mother.

I wondered why the Giants couldn't front him

the money for a train ticket, but didn't ask.

I kept walking.

He caught up with me and asked if I wanted

to buy a stuffed fish.

I thanked him, but told him I had no use for it.

I felt bad, but I really didn't need another stuffed animal.

I'm going to root for New England.

Plans

So, we're making plans -

funeral plans.

It's something you have to do.

Mom and Dad picked the music they want.

I'll help Dad with the readings.

Dad was stuck on the eulogy.

Didn't say much about it.

I asked,

"Dad, if you could have anyone, anyone at all

do the eulogy, who would you choose?"

"You."

*blink blink*

"Ok, who would be your second choice?"

Didn't see that one coming.

I really didn't.

I have no doubt I can get up there

and DO it.

Give me an audience and I'm a happy girl.

It's the message I'm worried about.

How do I make sure I

Say the right things.

Speak about the right people.

Touch on all I need to touch upon.

This is what I think about while driving to work.

This is what I think about while I'm not falling asleep.

This is what I think about.....a lot.

My friend Gina said....write.

Write a lot. Over write, then you

can cut, edit, whatever, just write.

I can do this.

Things Falling Into Place

Ok.

We have round the clock care set up.

Lidia is lovely, quiet, never leaves my mother's side.

Noni, is like a bull in a china shop.

"I do! I do!"

Good, we want her to do.

She also gives good hugs :-).

AND my father likes her a lot.

Great!

Hospice came in, meds under control.

I feel like I can relax now.

I've been sleeping A LOT, catching up.

I think I will only get out of my pjs

long enough to visit with my parents

and go to the gym, then shower and back to bed.

A good day.

I Work At The Greatest Place On Earth (no, not the circus)

My way of holding it together is

to take charge and organize.

Let me call the doctors.

Let me make the appointments.

Let me schedule visits, cooking, care.

As long as I have "work" to do, I'm okay.

I'm too busy to "feel" anything for myself.

No crying.

Too busy.

Well, that was until I received

a voice mail message from my boss, Alex.

I took 3 unexpected days off from work this week.

Alex was on vacation and I was very worried

about leaving the office empty.

Alex called to tell me not to worry.

She told me about all the people who came

by our office asking for me.

She said to not even think about work.

She brought dinner to my parents' house

TWICE.

The chef at school sent home dinner for us

both nights too.

A family at school owns my favorite Greek

restaurant - and I'm not just saying that, it

really is my favorite, and my mother has been there

many times.

They sent home LEMON POTATOES, a perfect

comfort food. I told my mother who is mostly

unresponsive and her face actually lit up!

My friend Karen, a parent, has been emailing.

My friend Kim also a parent, sent home a Prayer Scapular.

My friend Colleen in the business office has been texting

me to see how I am.

They got to me.

I cried.

So.....

Yeah, so mom's health has really taken a turn

in the last two days.

Things are not going all that well, but

I guess it depends on how you look at it.

Well: no pain

Not So Well: agitation

Well: sleeping

Not So Well: a lot of sleeping

Well: eating

Not So Well: very little communication

We found a wonderful home health aide

through Bridget's Irish Nurses.

Lidia is Russian.

She is thoughtful, caring, attentive.

She is at my mother's side the entire time,

unless she's making lunch or folding laundry.

She gives good advice and comforting hugs.

We are so fortunate to find such a wonderful caregiver.

We called for an additional Irish/Russian nurse as

we need round the clock care now.

(I'm writing this at 2:15 am - I'm on overnight duty)

We had a visit from our doctor today.

Yeah, the head of Mt. Sinai's Neuro Oncology dept. makes house calls.

He's also about 2 years younger than Doogie Howser.

He told us what we really already knew, but when

Doogie tells you, it's okay.

Oh, that and the fact that the mouse trap in the

kitchen snapped while he was telling us lightened the mood.

On a -SO NOT MORBID- note:

Mom received Last Rites today.

seriously, SO NOT MORBID.

It was actually beautiful and I was so

glad I was able to take part in it.

The priest came when family and friends

were here, we all joined hands and prayed together.

So, that's where we are right now.

Yeah, it sucks, but that's life....and death

and we motor through.

Valium

Yup.

Newest Favorite Thing

I was going to post yet another cancer rant

but instead I am telling you about

MY NEWEST FAVORITE THING

Started reading this on Friday.

I cannot wait to finish it tonight.

It's so good, I don't want it to end.

I keep coming up with excuses not to

sit down and finish it.

It's really good!!!

*Update: 10:11 pm

Just finished it.

Great book.

My Therapy

Thank God for the gym.

Yeah, six months ago, I never would

have said anything like that.

Six months ago I was a professional sitter.

I could sit on the couch like nobody's business.

If there was a sitting event in the Olympics I would medal.

Lovin' the gym, people!!

If you've been reading my blog, you know that

not too long ago Paul my trainer not my husband

broke up with me, and all he left me with was a

rotten case of golfer's elbow (which happens when

your trainer who is leaving the gym and doesn't seem to

care, throws a medicine ball to you waaay to hard and

you catch it and think 'OW, WTF?')

Well, I have a new trainer; Jeff.

Just Jeff.

I was a little apprehensive to work with someone new.

But......

Jeff

Is

Terrific!!!

He's older than I am.

He understands that I want to get into shape, not go through basic training.

He does NOT text all during our sessions.

He's funny.

I like Jeff.

I think about him all the time because

MY BODY ACHES FOR DAYS AFTER A TRAINING SESSION!!

I'm no longer a sitter.

I have more energy than I ever had in my life.

I feel great.

I can go, go, go.

All that stuff that people say about exercise....

IT'S TRUE!!!

I don't know how I'd get through my mother's illness

if I didn't have the gym, both for the energy aspect

and the 'focus on something else' aspect.

The gym is my therapy.

Have to run, I have a therapy session at 8am!!!

Update

Dad is coming around.

Welcome to the Crazy House

Ok, so my mother is dying.

Ok, we know that.

We all know that.

This past week she has deteriorated quite a bit.

Her doctor ordered a hospital bed for the house

so she wouldn't have to be taken upstairs.

Great.

The bed comes.

It's much smaller than I expected, not "hospitally" looking.

We put quilts and fluffy pillows on it to make it look like home.

DAD DOESN'T WANT HER TO USE IT.

My 71 year old father would rather carry her upstairs

to their bed.

We're all worried he's going to have a heart attack or

fall down the stairs.

My mother decided that she wanted to sleep in the hospital bed.

Great!

I purchased a baby monitor so my father could hear her if she called.

As we're putting her in the bed my father says:

"Wouldn't you rather go upstairs to your own big bed?"

STOP!!!

THIS IS BETTER!!!

-no I didn't say that.

I also spent hours on the phone with the

social worker and medicare

to find out about home health care.

I get all the info, relay it to my father and he says.

"We don't want that."

REALLY??? - WE NEED THAT!!!

-no I didn't say that either.

Ok.

I know he is grieving.

I know he is trying to deal with this horrible

situation as best he can, or actually, any way he can.

I know they have very little control over what is

happening and these are two things they can control.

I have to keep telling myself that.

I have to be supportive.

Ugh.

It's like a crazy house.

A crazy house full of love, but crazy nonetheless.

Before and After

Before:

After!