Curse You Rachel Ray!

So, tonight I made this dish that my mother recommended.

Right there.

THAT should have been the first clue.
My mother recommended a recipe??
Not only does my mother not cook,
my mother doesn't eat.
The woman exists on apples and water.
(by the way, I'm talking about my "real" mother,
not my step-mother who raised me and I love
to pieces.I'm talking about my crazy-ass mother
who left when I was 10 - but I digress.)

So MY MOTHER tells me she's started cooking and made this
great dish.
-again, I'm stuck on that sentence.

Anyway.
It's called Venetian Shrimp and Scallops from Rachel Ray,
who annoys the shit out of me.
THAT should have been my SECOND clue.

So I go to the store.
I buy 1 pound of sea scallops - expensive.
I buy 1 pound of large shrimp, which is not only a little pricey
but I have to clean the suckers. Totally gross.
I buy ONE HALF A TEASPOON OF SAFFRON, which costs $7.
$7 for 5 threads of....well, thread.
There were other ingredients:
shallots, garlic, wine, tomatoes, basil.
Oh, and did I mention the recipe calls for "good, crusty bread
for sopping up the juices"?

Sounds like it should be delicious, right?
Wrong.

I followed the directions.
I simmered, I reduced, I seared, I blended.
I ate and I was disappointed.

This dish had NO TASTE!
I went back and checked the ingredients.
I hadn't missed a thing.
Blech.

Paul has two categories for my cooking:
1) Delicious!
2) I love you but you don't ever have to make this again.
Thankfully, the second category only has 2 entries, well, now it has 3.

Go ahead, look up the recipe and try it.
Let me know how it turns out.