I'd have to call today one of the
5 worst days of my life so far.
My mother's younger sister
is an alcoholic - on and off the wagon for years.
Lost her
marriage
children
2 businesses
-broke into her neighbor's house to steal booze
-drove her car into a lake
-drank mouth wash and turpentine
You get the picture, right?
Well, this sister wanted to come down from
Vermont and stay with my mother
and take care of her this week.
(mom has stage 4 brain cancer)
Really?
Dad said no way.
Mom wanted her here, wanted to give her a chance.
Lame ass solution:
her enabling boyfriend brought her down last night.
He was going to "watch her" and take her home if
she drank.
Well, apparently, the boyfriend isn't a very good watcher.
9:40am - voice mail from the boyfriend:
"Hi this is Les. She's drinking, I have to take her home.
Can you come stay with your mother right away?"
Way to go, Les!
Um. I'm at work.
30 minutes away.
Dad is at work.
Mom is home with a drunk and some guy named Les.
I. Am. Furious.
Like 'can't see straight' furious.
Left work
Called Paul who was still home, asked him to
get over there and said:
"DON'T LET THEM LEAVE BEFORE I GET THERE"
Did you know a Volkswagen Beetle can go 100 mph?
Neither did I until I looked down and saw it.
I've never driven that fast and no, I'm not proud of it.
When I got to the house, Paul said he could "feel"
me coming and when I walked in
I was like a FIREBALL.
I walked right over to the drunk
who was lying on the couch
leaned in, pointed my finger at her and said:
"GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE
AND DON'T EVER COME HERE AGAIN
YOU SELFISH, SELFISH BEAST!"
Then I went to see if my mother
was alright. She was fine, but sad.
Les and the drunk drove off.
After my father got home,
I went home and went to bed.
I was absolutely exhausted.
Had a gym appt. at 4.
Didn't want to go.
Didn't think I'd make it through.
Was all set to cut it short,
take a shower
take a Xanax
and go to bed.
I went.
Focused.
Worked.
Loved it.
Washed away all the craziness of the day.
As Paul cooked dinner I kept asking him
"Tell me what I said again?"
"How did I say it?"
"How did I sound?"
Today started out as one of the
worst days I have ever, ever had
but ended up not so bad.
I took care of business.
I am a bad ass.
A bad ass fireball.
10 comments:
I work with drug addicts and alcoholics. Please understand that this woman is sick with a disease and she CANNOT help herself.
Donna, I understand it is a disease. She may not be able to help herself, but I don't have to have that behavior in my life and my parents certainly don't need it in theirs.
Fair enough, it is a disease. But she doesn't need to take her disease into your mother's life right now in my opinion. Your mother doesn't need it, and neither do you!!
Take care!
I, for one, am so glad that your parents raised such a fine Fireball! So glad you were there for them. Take care!
woohoo you are badass!
and ya know -- i get that she is ill but like you said -- but that is unaceptable & you don't have to tolerate anything from anyone -- even family! especially family!
i would have done the same thing -- even asking my honey to recount my badass-ness a 1000x's!
You did exactly what you should have done. No one needs to deal with that addition stress at a time when you are dealing with such a terrible illness.
Hugs to you, prayers for your mom.
Kelly
mytimepassages.com
Sorry you had to deal with this. Your aunt's illness probably makes it really difficult for her to deal with seeing your mother so ill.
...but I also know from experience, that when it's happening in your own family it's really really difficult to see it that way.
Lisa
I am going to snicker all day at the "selfish, selfish beast" comment! That is awesome. Sorry you dealt with the other stuff but good for you for flipping out on them. Even if its a disease the boyfriend should have gotten her out of there.
my MIL is an alcoholic - when I first found out (after getting married / lived in different states) I could not relate to my husband's reaction to her drinking. Now - I can totally, completely, 100% relate to your 'selfish, selfish beast' comment. I am guessing your family was also 100% behind you being a bad ass fireball.
So sorry Kerry. Alcoholism can be so very destructive. It's amazing how bad it can be. I've known people who are technically alcoholic but can function and it's so different than what you're describing. It's truly, truly awful when it gets to that extent.
But good for you for standing up for your mother that way! It's always great to find out what you're really capable of, isn't it? It's so much more than what we see on a day to day basis.
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