Ok, we know that.
We all know that.
This past week she has deteriorated quite a bit.
Her doctor ordered a hospital bed for the house
so she wouldn't have to be taken upstairs.
Great.
The bed comes.
It's much smaller than I expected, not "hospitally" looking.
We put quilts and fluffy pillows on it to make it look like home.
DAD DOESN'T WANT HER TO USE IT.
My 71 year old father would rather carry her upstairs
to their bed.
We're all worried he's going to have a heart attack or
fall down the stairs.
My mother decided that she wanted to sleep in the hospital bed.
Great!
I purchased a baby monitor so my father could hear her if she called.
As we're putting her in the bed my father says:
"Wouldn't you rather go upstairs to your own big bed?"
STOP!!!
THIS IS BETTER!!!
-no I didn't say that.
I also spent hours on the phone with the
social worker and medicare
to find out about home health care.
I get all the info, relay it to my father and he says.
"We don't want that."
REALLY??? - WE NEED THAT!!!
-no I didn't say that either.
Ok.
I know he is grieving.
I know he is trying to deal with this horrible
situation as best he can, or actually, any way he can.
I know they have very little control over what is
happening and these are two things they can control.
I have to keep telling myself that.
I have to be supportive.
Ugh.
It's like a crazy house.
A crazy house full of love, but crazy nonetheless.
5 comments:
i cannot even imagine what you are going through & how hard it must be for you & your whole family... you obviously were blessed with immense strength. blessings to you & yours. xxoo!
Let me preface this by saying that I know nothing about this, but...
It seems like your Dad is also grieving not sleeping with his wife. Are hospital beds available that will accommodate two people? Or maybe throw a twin mattress in the same room so he can sleep with his wife?
It seems to me, and this is only from my experience as a wife, that this basic part of marriage, sleeping with your spouse, would be the hardest thing to give up voluntarily.
Hugs to you and your family. I wish I could do something to help.
So, so sorry Kerry. And Lisa, what you said makes a lot of sense. Is there any way you guys could get the big bed downstairs? Or rent a cot that he could put next to the hospital bed?
I remember the stress of taking care of a dying parent while nursing the broken, hopeless heart of the other parent.
Make sure you allow yourself time to rest, remember and prepare too.
{{Hugs}}}
Kelly
MyTimePassages.com
Oh Kerry, Warm wishes to you tonight...
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