Dear Lady,
You seemed to be in a hurry.
Perhaps you had to go to the bathroom.
Perhaps you were rushing to visit your poor sick aunt in the hospital and visiting hours end at exactly 1:42pm.
Perhaps you had to bring your cart full of stuff over to the homeless shelter before another person went hungry....
But somehow I doubt any of those were the case.
I think you were just a rude, obnoxious wench who found it necessary to put your hands on my groceries and push them up on the belt so you could make room for 93 boxes of Lean Cuisine.
DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF!
DON'T EVER TOUCH MY STUFF!
You wanna pay for it, then ok, you can touch, but you didn't offer.
Not only did you TOUCH MY STUFF, you put both hands on my three loaves of bread (lovely bakery sourdough, cinnamon raisin swirl and 183 grain something or other).
You SQUASHED my loaves!
Did you catch the look I shot you? No, because your ginormous Yoko sunglasses were blocking your view or maybe you couldn't see over your Meg Ryan lips.
And I love how you found it necessary while furiously loading organic crap on to the belt, to push into my cart, which pushed into me, and demand that the checker check the price of your 323 load bottle of Tide.
WAIT YOUR TURN!!
I bet you're the kind of driver who doesn't believe in alternate feed.
I want you to know that I got immense pleasure out of discovering that I didn't have enough cash in my wallet to pay for my junk food and insecticide covered fruit.
You know I slid the credit card through the reader incorrectly on purpose, all 7 times.
HA!
That'll learn ya'.
16 comments:
OMG...wanna go grocery shopping with me? 7 times...that was great!
whahaaha, you're just to funny! Love reading your everyday stories!
Kerry,
I will not eat food touched by other (sub)human hands! But you are VERY FUNNY and I love you anyway.
-Paul
OMG--I totally have a pet peeve about people in line behind me pushing up before my turn is finished. There should be a term for it, like "grocery rage." Block my access to the card reader before my turn is over, and watch out!
No, seriously, that was wonderful. I love your blog so much, and although I am a straight-haired person, my youngest (at 15 months) is a curly girl...so I feel like I am also one, by proxy.
7 times through the scanner....fantastic.
What nerve!
Thanks for the laugh!!!
OMG you cracked me up!!! lol!
So funny, love it :)
You are AWESOME!!! I never thought to put the credit card through wrong! I will have to remember that next time some pushy person gets behind me.
Shannon
I am sitting her LOL so hard.. because that is one of my HUGE HUGE petpeeves.. DO NOT PUSH MY FOOD UP SO YOU CAN PUT YOURS ON!!! You know what makes them really angry...when you start striking up a sweet,kind,loving chit chat with the cashier....!! THEY HATE THAT!! they sway to one foot.. throw their food on the belt... and say to their kids "We've been waiting in line so long why don't they open another register this is crazy"....
So high five to you girl!! Me personally I have turned around ONCE ( PMS) and asked the Lady if she knew Jesus.. cause if she didn't I was gonna preach to her while we "waited"....
OMG...hahahaha...too funny..and OH so true:0
Love it!
you have me almost peeing my pants, and after a set of twins and one more pregnancy it doesn't take much but still!
LOL!!!! That was great!
OMG ... If I were drinking.. it would have been on the computer now... that was the funniest damn post ever!!!! LOL.. now times that by 23 and you have Florida drivers!
Great post. This is one of my pet peeves, too. I get downright scowlish when they invade my space and my groceries While I'm Still At The Register.
And yes, they do drive like that. In their view, they ALWAYS have the right-of-way.
Your credit card gambit is brilliant. I never thought of it because I'm in such a hurry to get away from them. Next time...Bwahahaha.
Holy cow, thats the funniest thing I have read all day.. But it's SO true. Thanks for making me laugh today!
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